My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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