Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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