erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
