I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
