i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
