You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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