Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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