am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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