Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize