she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
