remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
