...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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