Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize