Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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