i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
