I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
