just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
