It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
