just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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