You can't motorboat a personality
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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