Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
