So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
