weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
