Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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