Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
