My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
