Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
