i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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