If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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