Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
