She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
