Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
