Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
