literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
