if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
