I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
