the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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