So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
