the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
