No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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