this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize