Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
