Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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