btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
