It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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