absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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