So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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