hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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