I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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