Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
