I just saw a hot homeless man
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize