Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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