I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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