started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
