idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
