k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
drinking out of a sandbucket again
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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