I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
