i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
